HOW YOU FEELIN’ SPOILERS? FEELIN’ GOOD AS HELL!
Okay. (Cracks knuckles.)
Let me see if I can break down a few of the completely apeshit goings-on in this week’s episode of The Mandalorian, “Guns for Hire.”
Jack Black and Lizzo sing a few bars from West Side Story to each other, making, I think, Stephen Sondheim somehow canon. (No notes.)
Lizzo knights Grogu.
Din Djarin and Bo-Katan Kryze reenact a scene from Blade Runner and then go all CSI at a robot-morgue, where they witness an autopsy, which consists of testing Super Battle Droid blood.
Din kicks Super Battle Droids in the legs for a while?
We go to a specialized bar, The Resistor, where droids quaff oh quaff Nepenthe. We finally find out who serves their kind and where. We learn that many droids think of Organics as their creators and just want to help them, because droids are awesome and our best friends.
A young Mon Calamari prince and Quarren captain make goo-goo eyes at each other as the Quarren’s face-tentacles gently caress her lovers face before they’re tearfully torn apart by Mandalorians for Hire. (Is this another reference to West Side Story?)
Christopher Lloyd (yes, that Christopher Lloyd) declares that Count Dooku was a visionary before he’s arrested for injecting evil nanobots into unsuspecting droids by spiking their drinks.
Our Mandalorian leads are allowed to keep their guns in a “Direct Democracy” that has outlawed them because weapons and armor are a part of their religion. (That’s an approach to the law guaranteed to make the late Justice Scalia sing opera from the grave.)
Star Bocce (that Lizzo wins by cheating).
Lizzo is followed by a floating CGI purple star train like she’s on Steven Universe.
Jack Black as the kind of engineer who makes domed cities in precisely the way Mandalorians might need someday.
Droids committing petty crimes like stealing cars.
We learn how to drink Martinis while submerged in a fish tank.
A table full of creatures from every part of the Star Wars galaxy drinking secretions like it’s a squicky hooka bar.
Star Wars can be ridiculous. That’s part of its charm. It’s a pastiche that draws from the highest highs and the lowest lows. It’s a grand saga with some memorable fart jokes. It’s one of the craziest things about the series: the tone can go from life-or-death to Jaxxon, space-rabbit, who has his own Black Series figure, thank you very much, and who was voiced by my good friend Sean in “From A Certain Point of View.”
Star Wars veers from being myth-making to ‘oh my God girl you’re so stupid,’ in a way that can only be called a weird flex. If we’re going to have lots and lots of Star Wars, why not have a cameo-filled bonzo-gonzo episode? It’s the kind of swagger that’s indistinguishable from being a fool. It’s wearing a fez and making it fashion.
I’m sure there will be folks who object to this level of absurdity, but Star Wars is the universe where Teddy Bears saved the galaxy; where Chewbecca yells like Tarzan; where there’s a cartoon that looks just like George Lucas called Baron Papanoida; where C-3P0 quips “this is such a drag” as his head is pulled along the dirt during the battle of Geonosis.
I’ve always believed that one of the primary challenges to world-builders in the Star Wars universe is the galaxy far, far away is put together with Popsicle sticks and chewing gum. It’s more emergent than planned, more like a hallucination than an ecosystem. It’s Archetype not Architecture.
Watching, for example, the making of Avatar, you see James Cameron and his team studying nature to build environments where everything seems like it’s Blue Planet on another planet. George Lucas wasn’t looking at nature when he was building the Star Wars galaxy, he was looking at other movies, at his interests, at what made him smile. That’s why there are laser swords but no one seems to have a working telephone, why there are planets defined by one type of biome (Desert Planet! Ice Planet! Volcano Planet!). None of this is meant to be taken literally or understood as reality. Star Wars is more “I dreamed I saw Jack Black in a golden cape drinking secretions in a domed city,” than it is “This is a lacrydyrmi aquatis and the reason it’s got gills is because of its habitat.”
The further you go off the main map in Star Wars, the more things seem a little loopier, a little more what-the-f*ck? It’s like when a video game designer explains that no one was ever supposed to climb over those far-off pixelated mountains because past them you’ll just fall forever. In Star Wars, if you go off the map? You may not fall forever, but you will find Christopher Lloyd threatening to press the jolly candy-line button.
What’s crazy, too, is that slid in-between the pages of this Douglas Adams book, the plot of the more self-serious show is advanced significantly. We learn the whereabouts of the missing Mandalorian fleet (including Sasha Banks/Mercedes Varnado, who to some of us will always be a notable cameo); we find out that this out-of-the-way planet will speak on Mandalore’s behalf to the New Republic if they receive our heroes’ help (that seems important!); and…
Bo-Katan Kryze finally reclaims the Darksaber!
I was surprised at how this played out. It seemed like there was dramatic tension to be mined in Bo-Katan having to fight Din for this weapon. I was expecting that tension to pay off with betrayal or battle. For Din to basically say “here, take it” is both a sign of his own honor, and also a bit of a shrug from the storytellers. We see an awesome Mando on Mando battle between Bo and Axe Woves for the fleet, which is then immediately undercut but Axe saying Bo should be fighting Din anyway. I suspect Favreu felt like he’d get more storytelling juice out of Din giving up power willingly than Bo-Katan making a grab for power. Still, “I was attacked by a random robot and so here’s the Darksaber Bo” was not on my proverbial bingo card.
To be fair, none of this was on my bingo card. In the final third of the third season, I was just not expecting a detour into a genre I would call miscellaneous even if it did complete the Darksaber’s journey back to Bo-Katan’s hands. I’m the kind of person who goes “Who thought of this? What the heck? This is nuts!” with delight instead of frustration, that’s just my way, but I could imagine a subset of the audience scratching their heads pretty furiously at “Guns for Hire.”
There are only two episodes left in what’s proven to be a very different season than its predecessors. Season Two was single-minded and focused, Season Three has been sprawling and risky. The titular Mandalorian this season could be any number of characters, from Din to Bo to Grogu. And there are lots of dangling thoughts - Dr. Pershing’s fate, Moff Gideon’s whereabouts - awaiting completion. It seems clear where this is all going - the battle for Mandalore - but we’re not even sure who would oppose the Mandalorians plan to retake it. I’m assuming Moff Gideon, but he’s a fugitive, isn’t he? Or does he want to rule Mandalore? There’s a lot of story left and about ninety minutes left to tell it. Luckily, Star Wars storytelling is at its best when it’s moving at top speed.
Wherever we crash land in the coming weeks, I think it’s safe to call “Guns for Hire” the wildest, weirdest part of a very wild, weird ride so far.
"I was just not expecting a detour into a genre I would call miscellaneous..."
Matthew: this line right here, as well as this piece as a whole, is why you're one of my favorite people writing about Star Wars. Just genius. 🔥
You're right on all accounts btw.
Mandalorians playing catch in their down time! Also, don't forget her new working name: Mercedes Moné. :)